Here is my entry, entitled Never East the Worm, soon to be up on Jason's blog.
Back aching, he woke on a cold linoleum floor. His brain seemed over inflated, throbbing in his skull, threatening to burst.
Sitting up too fast, the hot hand of nausea clenched his guts. A belch erupted from the pit of his stomach, spewing bile into his throat, raking as if he had coughed up a cactus.
No mistaking the day-after taste: Mezcal.
One eye felt like it was glued shut. Peering through the slit of the other, glaring sunlight scorched his vision like a point of light from a child's magnifying glass.
He lifted the object in his hand before him. Something was caked onto his arm, cracking like eggshell as he moved it.
His good eye popped wide open.
He held a cook's knife, covered in the same dried-on blood that spanned the length of his arm.
His shirt was ripped.
A garbage can was tipped.
A curtain was torn from the wall.
In a haze, he stumbled along a trail of blood and broken glass into the next room, where it led to the lifeless body of the girl he suddenly recognized.
Sobbing uncontrollably, he tossed the knife and collapsed to his knees beside the girl he had hooked up with the night before.
The room exploded with laughter.
He whirled to see a group of his frat brothers, braying like donkeys.
The corpse couldn't hold it any longer. Sitting up and putting a hand to his shoulder, she chided, "The look on your face is just priceless!"
18 comments:
Tequila is strong enough. Never done mezcal, and will hopefully keep it that way.
A good read. You had me, then got a chuckle out of it. That puts my practical jokes to shame.
Oh man! You had me going there, I saw the beginnings of an awesome murder mystery. LOL Poor dude! Very nice Scott! :)
Wow... intense! Kept me going till the end.
" coughed up a cactus" - great line.
LOL! Awesome. Great job with the imagery, too, Scott. Very nice job.
Nicely written. I felt that guy's hangover (which evoked plenty of college memories) from your description. The practical joke ending was a little out of character for you, but clever nonetheless.
Wicked sense of humor :)
I felt that hangover LOL.
I really liked that story - clever and funny. Well done!
I like it! :)
Like Moni, I saw a murder mystery going on and BAM, NOT! Good job, Scott. Lots of imagery.
I'm thinking this might be your first win.
A wicked act and a wicked sense of houmour; you tricked me well and truly.
I meant humour or American humor. It's very late here in the UK- am tired zzzzzzzzzzzz
This Jason fellow has quite a few writers submitting to him I see. I guess you weren't kidding about that "community" thing? Maybe next time I will try submitting, good luck this time Scott.
What Trevor said.
Good luck.
I think I would have cracked open like an old coconut if I ever had to indulge in fraternity activities.
Zombie - I've never done Mezcal either. I've heard about the worm though, and the legend is that bad stuff happens when you eat it.
Moni - Yeah, I decided to take a different twist on this one.
Amber - Thanks!
Bernita - I liked that one too.
Jaye - Cool, thanks for the comment over at Jason's as well.
Nat - I try to temper all the gloom and doom with some humor every once in a while.
Toni - Yeah, I've had a few of those. That part was from personal experience (times two perhaps).
Sam - Thanks for stopping by to say so.
Catalyst - Thank you
Beth - I don't think so, not after reading yours and Jayes! But feel free to heap in on. I don't mind at all.
June - No worries. I understand humor no matter how you spell it. And thanks for dropping by.
Trevor - It's not too late, but time is short. Only 250 words. It flies by...
Toast - You practically are in a fraternity already with all your crazy friends.
Excellent! I declare you the winner!
I submitted a story, Scott. May the best man win! (Heh, but if I won I would be a dark horse, wouldn't I?)
Sorry, Trevor, but Mr. Schprock has already declared me the winner. Maybe next time. Bwa-ha-ha.
Seriously, welcome. I'm glad you made it.
Post a Comment