Thursday, August 04, 2005

Double Dump

My group of friends in high school included two girls, Heather and Paula. They were both attractive in different ways. Paula was short with blonde hair, and had a highly celebrated derriere. Heather was more of an obvious beauty, with long flowing hair, fair elven features, and an arresting feminine attitude that beckoned on the one hand, and was forbidding on the other.

I had a car and the girls called me to run them on the slightest of errands, and I was more than happy, grateful even, to oblige. Paula kissed me, a quick peck on the cheek, as I dropped her at Heather's house one day. My friend Mike witnessed it from the passenger seat, who thought of himself as a modern day Casanova and wore underwear that said "Home of the Whopper" on the crotch.

"I can't believe she kissed me!"

Mike smiled, "Why not? You're a stud."

My mind was swimming and my stupid grin lasted the evening. The next day, I knew what I had to do. I gathered my courage, dialed the phone, hung up, dialed again, etc. Finally I let it ring, and she picked up.


"Hi Scott!"

"Uhhh. How's it going?"

"Good, how's it going with you?"

"Good." Long uncomfortable pause. "So, er, I was just wondering, you know, if maybe you might, uh..."


"Uh, would you like to, you know, go with me?"

"Yes I would."



"Ok. So I'll see you later?"


Paula's was the first breast that I ever touched, and that only happened because she grabbed my hand and put it there. I was like a kid with a new toy, but it took me a full minute to realize what I held in my hand.

As I had encountered before, as sweet as it may seem to some girls, my innocence was a novelty at first, but it didn't take long for her to get bored. My best friend at the time, George, looked like the inspiration for a sculpture of an ancient Greek athlete. He had olive skin in the dead of winter, and was a top student. Rumors surfaced that Paula and George were sleeping together, but I didn't believe it. Eventually I couldn't ignore the rumors anymore, and confronted Paula, who assured me they weren't true.

"You know what is sad?" Paula asked me once. "After people break up they never seem to remain friends."

"Well, we don't have to worry about that, we're never going to break up, right?" Hello? McFly? Is there anybody in there?

Heather called me as a concerned friend, "Paula is making you look like an idiot. She and George are together almost every night." Which was plausable, since Paula was always busy, and never by the phone anymore.

"You're probably right; I don't know what to do."

"I'll tell you what to do, come over here and be with me."


"Are you saying that you don't want me?"

"No, but I'm not broke up with Paula yet."

"Well that's just a formality. Paula doesn't give a shit about you, but I love you. I want to marry you; let's go to college together and become lawyers. We'd make a great team."

I couldn't believe my ears; in my heart knew that Heather wasn't being real. She was terribly competitive with Paula, and lately Paula was all the rage while Heather was barely on the radar. But still, I liked Heather long before I did Paula, but never thought I had a chance. She was seductive and beautiful, and it was easy to let fantasy overshadow reality. Soon I was spending all my time with her.

Our incestuous group went to a video arcade together, and that is when the hammer finally dropped. Paula took me aside and told me point blank: "It's not working out between us. I think it's time to end it."

"Ok, Paula, good luck with George." She didn't seem surprised that I knew.

Heather took her place like a billiard ball with perfect backspin.

"I'm sorry Scott, but things aren't going to work out between us after all."

"That's ok Heather," I said with a smile I didn't feel, "Good luck with George."


Beth said...

Oh man, I HATE Heather! I knew a Heather exactly like her. Seductresses, yes, but whores ... no doubt! =)

jenbeauty said...

Teenage girls can be so catty! We had one in our group that always dated the guys the rest of us dumped. I never understood the reasoning and she knew why we were dumping them and knew why they were going to her. *shakes head*

I never dated any of the boys in my circle of friends. Granted I dated an older boy, from another school, most of high school so some of these friends were a bit intimidated.

My mother frequently reminds me how foolish I was to have stayed with "Kevin". She realized and saw that so many of my guy friends really had crushes on me. I had no clue back then. It is only now, when we laugh about it, that I realize that maybe a couple of guys were hanging around to be more than a friend. Makes my upcoming class reunion even more interesting. lol

mr. schprock said...

You know what I hated in high school? The girls always broke up with me! I never did the breaking up. That's one thing I'd fix if I could do it over: pre-emptive break ups.

Scott said...

Knitter - Yeah, she hurt so good.

Jen - How could ever have been so clueless? Testosterone is an evil chemical that neutralizes the rest of the brain.

Schprock - You and me both, but I started getting the hang of it later on.

Mr. T said...

What is it with Paulas and Heathers?
I've known a few of each and they were mostly alike.. it is the name?

I mean it has to the be name.. they even made a movie about Heathers.. call "Heathers". Who knew it was documentary? ;)

Scott, really sorry you had to go through that.. another great life molding experience.

jenbeauty said...

LOL Scott not sure, but I was totally out of the loop. None of them made a move, not that I can really remember. Maybe they did and I was too blind to see it. It just makes me smile now and wonder how some of the "boys" are doing.

Mrs.T said...

Heather and Paula were both retarded teenage girls.

What I want to know is did you get anything out of it? I mean besides steering clear of Heathers and Paulas?

Scott said...

Mr T - Don't worry about me, but thanks for the sentiment. It hurt at the time, but on a scale of importance it pales to going down in a heap of rubble.

Jen - I had crushes on my "friends" too, and like you they had no idea. I stopped being so ambiguous in my twenties, and had a lot more fun once I wasn't the nice guy anymore.

Mrs T - What did I get from it? A broken heart, a first lesson in "nice guys finish last." Never again would I be in a similar position, but I was bitter for quite a few years and had some torrid relationships since. Frankly, every girl was a comparison to Heather. I'll write more about her. The story isn't over.

magnetbabe said...

jenbeauty- I am in the same boat with you. I found out later most of my guy friends had crushes on me which is ironic because I never dated in high school. Nobody ever asked me out! Apparently the nice guys were too busy getting their hearts broken by Paulas and Heathers!

Scott said...

I met a girl at my ten year reunion that told me that she thought I would have married a beautiful woman, and all I could think was, "why didn't I ever ask her out?" Man, just listening to you and Jen makes me really kick myself for some much missed opportunity.

Shesawriter said...

I would like to do very bad things to Heather ... like put gum in her hair ... or stick a tack on her chair ... Hey, that rhymed. :-)

Very interesting story, Scott. I enjoyed it. Good writing!


Dixie Belle said...

This sounds like one of those teen movies I had to watch when my son was that age.

Scott said...

Tanya - Where were you when I could have used the help? That was funny, and thanks for dropping by.

Dixie - Maybe I'm onto something here!