Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Eight Random Facts about Me

I've been tagged by Toni, Shawn and Jason. It's about time I got on with it.

1. I was one of the last kids in my school to swear off Sesame Street. When I was in eighth grade, I still had a stack of 45 RPM records with such famous hits as the Sesame Street theme song, Somebody Come and Play, I Love Trash, I've Got Two Eyes, and Big Bird's alphabet song (the one where he finds the alphabet chalked onto the sidewalk and thinks its one big word). I couldn't get enough. While the world dreamed of living in a yellow submarine, I was playing games at the ladybug picnic.

I put them away for good when my step-brother announced it to my schoolmates.

The great sadness of my childhood was that Ernie, Bert, Grover, Oscar, Big Bird, Kermit, Cookie Monster, The Count (ah, ah), et al were not real. I dreamed of a living, breathing Muppet world and vowed when I was in sixth grade to bring them to life, so I bought a science book from the grade above me and read it from cover to cover. When I finally went to college, Robotics seemed like too much math, so I settled for a generic computer programming degree instead.

2. When I was in fifth grade, all the neighborhood girls three or more years younger than myself had crushes on me. Nobody my own age, of course. So I set up a kissing booth thinking to make a few dollars. This created a "swarm" of about fifteen girls, so I crawled on top of a mobile home trailer and dangled my hand. The first stepped up and pecked at it like a woodpecker until I jerked it back and closed up shop.

There was another girl that was older than me that always referred to me as dimples. She always greeted me on the bus as such, then laughed as I squirmed and turned red. If she ever saw me around the neighborhood, she would chase me, threatening to kiss me if she caught me. I was too fast.

3. I've always had a dream, and not so coincidentally, same too with my father. Thankfully, I at least was instilled with a worker gene.

4. In college, while wrestling with Jeff Gordon, I threw him onto his guitar, snapping the neck clean off it. I didn't have money or any access to money, so he took my skis as collateral until such a time as I had it fixed. At the end of the school year, situation unchanged, I took my skis back. He asked, "How do I know you'll make good?" I answered, "You don't."

That summer a friend bet me that he could shimmy up the side of a skinned log we had stuck in the ground as the first ingredient of a home-made crane. He didn't make it five feet. Instead of paying me, he offered a guitar that he had taken from a previous business partner who had screwed him out of some money. I accepted. The next semester started without me in attendance, but I took a special trip to Washington State University in order to make good on my word. The guitar was far superior in quality and sound to the one I had broken. It even had built-in pickups for plugging into an amp. I was feeling quite magnanimous as I handed him the guitar in a beautiful, hard-shell case.

Jeff picked it up, strummed it once, leaned it against the wall and said, "Thanks. I've got a lot of homework to do, so if you don't mind…"

5. I have an obsessive personality, whatever that means. For example, when I finally got it in my head that I wanted to play guitar, I drove everyone absolutely bat shit crazy talking about it. I played Johnny B. Goode in my room over and over until Dave Haase finally told me to play something else. Then I went through a Doors phase. In college it was The Wham Rap, which led to Lip Synch. Later, much later, in the bars, happy hour, after work, it was Karaoke. Then it was La Fonda Del Sol where a band had me sing Cover of the Rolling Stone. Then it was softball. Now it's writing. I talked a lot about it as recently as a month ago, but now, for some reason, I don't blather on about it, preferring now to get something done and let the work do the talking for me.

6. I'm phenomenal at making new friends. Keeping them… now that's the trick.

7. At forty two, I think I'm finally over high school. Maybe.

8. I have an infinite capacity to love and forgive, and I often wonder why people don't see that. Then again, maybe they do.

I'm supposed to tag eight people, so here goes: Tee, Mr. Schprock, Beth, Jen, Natalie, Toast, Peter, Unlucky Girl. I'm not sure if the last two would even be interested, but I think they would be interesting.


Tee said...

I could have sworn that I've done this meme before but I searched my archives and it's not there. I will try to do it this week.

I loved Sesame Street but can't remember what age I stopped watching. Honestly I watched Blues Clues when it first came out when I was like a junior in high school but I could get away with it by admitting I had a crush on Steve. LOL.

The kissing booth story is hilarious! I can imagine it as something I'd see on The Little Rascals.

I've also broken a guitar on accident. It was my father's - a beautiful acoustic. I was a messy teen and stupidly left it on the floor amid dirty laundry and such. One morning I tripped and fell on it... I can not tell you how sick to my stomach I felt when I heard the noise of it breaking. I still feel badly about it.

Sunshine said...

Wow, loving...yes. Forgiving? That's the tricky part.
I hear you on the Sesame Street thing, I wanted to live there so much more than in my own life, at least people there loved kids like kids are supposed to be loved.

Toni Anderson said...

LOL at the kissing. I bet later in life, girls three years younger than you wasn't such a terrible idea :)

Dreams are good. I like dreams.

jenbeauty said...

Damn it man!! Now not only do I have to update my blog story, I have to come up with 8 EIGHT things to tell everyone!!

LOL...I will try my best to make good by the end of the week on both counts.

mr. schprock said...

Didn't you hear about the "real boy" operation Gabbo, the ventriloquist's dummy from The Simpson's, got? Maybe there's hope for your Muppets yet.

I don't know about Bert and Ernie becoming real, although here in Massachusetts their lifestyle would be more accepted.

My wife wishes I had the "worker gene."

Great post! Especially liked that bit about the guitar.

Anonymous said...

A Muppet world be nice. I had a friend who bore a striking resemblance to Miss Piggy. Go figure.

Thanks for the great list, Scott!

Beth said...

I adored Gonzo from the Muppets and Grover from Sesame Street. Maybe I should save that for my facts. 8 things? Wow, 8 things. Okay. I'll do it this week. Promise.

Alan said...


Dude, I'm a' dancin' and singin' like a FOOL over here!!!!



Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

I can't believe that guy was so dimissive about receiving a far superior guitar.

What a douche

Jada's Gigi said...

funny story about the kissing booth...5th grade must be THE year..I remember becoming distinctly aware of kissing a s such around then too..:)you must have lived in a very forward neighborhood for the younger girls to be after you..lol

sorry about the guitar and glad you are finally over highschool..if anyone ever is...
and sometimes that obsessive personality can come in handy, ya know? :)

Anonymous said...

Heh, there was a little girl who lived next door to me that was a couple years younger than me. She and her friend used to chase me around threatening to kiss me. They would also say that they were going to marry me when they grew up. Looking back they were cute little girls, I suppose it is my bad luck that they aren't they chasing me around acting in this manner any more.

Kathleen said...

I still love Sesame Street - especially the songs. I can't believe you didn't mention Rubber Ducky!!!

I'm the same age as you, but I don't remember watching it until my younger siblings started watching and they're four and seven years younger than me.