Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Prom

I've said it before, that in high school, I was invisible to the upper crust. And I totally get it, especially looking back at some of my old photos. If you know anything about me, perhaps by being a long time reader, or having grown up with me, watching me make my mistakes and learning from them ever so slowly, then you would too.

I didn't even bother to ask anyone to the junior or senior prom. It would have been better had I just been a total geek, which I may have been, but not in my mind. I played football and put the jocks on their backs, but I couldn't put that damn basketball into the hoop or dribble for shit; I had the stamina of a tree sloth and was utterly baffled by the curve ball since eighth grade (a story for another time).

I didn't think I needed to work for anything, and couldn't understand as the years went past, why everybody else was stronger, faster and better than me at everything.

My sense of humor was childish; much like it can be today, which makes me a pretty damn funny dad to have. High school nearly squashed me flat. It tried to take the smile from my face, but I wouldn't let it.

But they won in many ways. I spent way too much time worrying about what the kings and queens of that society thought about me, instead of focusing on what I had. And believe me, I had plenty. I could have been happy, but I dwelt on what I didn't have. It ate at me from the inside. It wasn't until my ten year reunion that I realized how much, and finally began the process of letting go.

Like Lime Disease, it's a sickness that will always linger. Perhaps that's why I get so messed up about losing a contest, and worry about what my friends will think.

So prom wasn't even on my radar. Even then, in the height of self-denial, I knew enough to stay away.

So now, some twenty four odd years later, someone finally asked me to go to prom with her. Being the self actualized fellow that I am, perhaps now I am ready to face the music. Be warned, Beth: I've got two left feet.

9 comments:

Beth said...

BLARGH! I just lost my whole comment. =(

Well, it was long-winded anyway.

Basically, this is the first time I've ever asked anyone out ... so, we're both first timers here in some sense.

Also, I tend to lead. Is that a problem? =D Glad you said yes.

Your Prom Princess

Jada's Gigi said...

THE PROM!! I didn't' go to any in high school either..but lived vicariously through each of my daughters for theirs...so actually i got to enjoy 4 Proms, 2 per daughter...:)

Kathleen said...

I went to my prom, but nobody asked me. My sister felt I had to go, so she got my aunt to ask one of her brothers to take me. He graciously agreed. I never got to go dress shopping (still one of the great disappointments of my life) as there wasn't time, so my sister borrowed a dress from one of her friends. My sister also paid for the ticket. I think it would have been less pathetic not to go.

I feel your high school pain.

Trevor Record said...

I was a straight-up nerd in grade 12 and I am not ashamed to say it. But somehow, I did manage to have a girlfriend come prom. (Being a nerd isn't so bad when you are not bad looking, though.)

The Zombieslayer said...

Take it easy and enjoy life. Don't stress so much, and don't think too much about things. Just let it flow and enjoy it.

I think everyone was awkward in high school. I was seen as a cool kid, but I was faking it the whole time. Inside, I was as confused as anyone.

And watch Breakfast Club again. All five of them were frustrated inside, even though two out of the five were "popular."

jenbeauty said...

*sigh* High School. I was very middle of the road, tried to be friends with everyone. There is always someone you are envious of or think their life is better for one reason or another. My parents tried very hard to make me a more profound thinker and give everyone a chance at being my friend.

With that said, I was unduly harsh to a few cheerleaders from HS. I tended to laugh and poke fun at their expense, because to me, it was a joke who some of them thought they were. But I was the one in the wrong. Sure there were a few that held themselves higher than others, but there were a few that I should have taken more time to get to know.

The funny thing about getting older, you realize your past mistakes and try not to continue to make them. At my 20 year reunion last year I apologized, as I did at my ten year to Tonya. She is a very neat woman and should have given her more of a chance in our younger years.

Thanks for giving me a venue to voice these thoughts Scott. Your posts always make me think and remember and grow. Wish I could write this stuff and share it in my own blog LOL.

I don't have Prom stories, mine was pretty typical run of the mill. Have fun on that date!!

Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

I think I spent most of the U.K equivalent to the prom drunk in the bushes

Toni Anderson said...

Didn't have a PROM. The UK has some advantages, although like Toast I seem to remember 15 vodkas being on the menu of our six form Christmas dance--and not much food--in fact I have these really awful memories of being taken home by my art teachers and bundled into the getaway car so I didn't get into trouble with the headmaster.

I was lucky. They were hippies. Imagine giving up vodka at 17?

Beth said...

Scott, just read "Lunch with a Friend" and I did miss it at the time. Are you close to Boston? I didn't realize that.