My One Victory

I have to be honest with you, I've never been mistaken for a male model, and pale in comparison to some of my friends in college. In fact, over time I came to despise the night club scene, whose loud, overpowering music negated my only asset in the pursuit of happiness: conversation. I'm not bad looking mind you, but standing in the room with Brad Pitt and Tom Cruise, somebody is more likely to hand me the keys and say park it out back.

Jay was one of those friends, that always got to choose from the crowd any girl he wanted, and the rest would ask me questions about him while stealing furtive glances at their friend; you know the look, the patented claw swipe that all women instinctively know, the one that says, "Bitch!"

I've revealed quite a bit about myself to date, but this is going to put me over the top. I had a thing for Wham! You know, that 80's band that brought us Careless Whisper, and Wake Me Up Before You Go Go? I especially loved the Wham Rap -- let's just say, Eminem George Michael aint. No matter, I memorized every nuance and turned it up until my speakers started to shred. My floormates were very tolerant, and some even wanted a recording of it. Go figure.

Jay and I brought a copy of it to Rathskellars on the weekend and convinced the extremely, smoking hot lead singer of the band to play the recording for us and let us take the stage on her break. Jay took center stage and I was off to his left. When our lip synch began, three girls jumped up on stage and flocked around him like he was Bruce Springsteen, making me look like a total loser. It's one thing to know your place on the food chain, but quite another to have it flaunted in front of an audience.

Then the most amazing thing happened. One of the groupies peeled off and put her arms around me, and I hope I didn't grin like a kid that got the one thing he wanted for Christmas. After we finished, she stayed with me and we chatted like old friends. She was really cool. I'm ashamed that I can't remember her name today. I emailed Jay and asked for it, but he couldn't remember either, or if he did, he didn't want to say. He saw the two of us together, and something must have clicked in his brain, because he moved between us and turned on the charm, and soon they were off alone.

Then she laughed, that carried over the din of music and conversation, then waved her hand dismissively and walked towards me, away from his icy glare.

"Do you know what he said to me?" she giggled. She faced me standing toe to toe, looking up from chest level.

"What?" I replied, but I already knew. It was always the same line.

"He said, get this, 'I know you wanna kiss me'" We both laughed out loud, me in relief that, finally, somebody was sane. She stopped laughing, and so did I as she took me in with a look, that, to borrow a phrase from Garth Brooks, even a boy would recognize.

"Isn't that a silly thing to say," she said playfully as her fingers pranced up my chest and pulled in closer.

I thought about saying, "I know you wanna kiss me," but a little voice said, shut and kiss her. So I did.

Jay was not a well man after that, and started a campaign to make me feel bad about it. "Oh, so I got turned down by an ugly chick!" Honestly, I don't understand how guys that have it all can't stand to lose just once, like their life depends on it.

Eventually though, he brought me down, or better put, I let him get me down, and I stopped calling her. A month later saw him in the dining hall talking to her, on more than one occasion. He proudly told me one night, in typical man fashion, that he had fucked her.

"Really," I said. "I thought she was an ugly chick."

"Well, you know, she's pretty cool, after talking to her and all."

"So are you going to see her anymore?"

"Nah, I'm sick of her."

"I see."