Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Screw Loose

For a mere one hundred twenty five dollars, I learned a little about electronics, namely about relay switches, fifteen vs. thirty amp breakers, and signal detection. I also learned that I was a hair breadth short of doing it right in the first place.

One screw. I was one screw short of putting it back together correctly. I tried to put it back in but it wouldn’t bite, and what the hell anyway; the thermostat was secured to the wall with two others so why worry? Try: because the heat won’t turn on. It turns out that the screw not only held it together, but also completed the circuit.

Anyway, the electricians cost an hour minimum, so I had them install the rest of our thermostats. I thought about having them empty the dishwasher with fifteen minutes left on the clock. Instead, we chatted about the Academy Awards.

I told the electrician, the only reason you are here is because I've got a screw loose. My wife overheard me and took me aside. "How many times have I told you? You just shouldn't talk."

9 comments:

Jada's Gigi said...

That together with the last post, was hysterical and so true I can picture it all now. My hubby's dad was an electrician and he's been holding tools for his dad all his life. He "says" he can put in an outlet or thermostat or whatever...but is that gonna happen?....I don't think so... that could mean possibly days without light or heat, or even a dead husband. I'm calling the electrician before he even gets started! lol

fakies said...

It's always easy to take thing apart, but it's that putting them back together that's the kicker. I'm better at the destroying part. Repair? Not so much.

Toni Anderson said...

Scott, these last 2 posts have made me laugh! My husband is just like you!
"Trust Me' is his favourite line--just before something awful happens and we pay to get it done anyway.
Like last year he broke up a load of concrete and borrowed a truck from a friend to cart it away. All that work for him! And what happened? The trucks shocks went so we spent the same money replacing shocks on our friends truck as it would have cost for a pro to come and take the stuff away in the first place.

Screw Loose indeed.

Natalie said...

Those stories were hilarious indeed. You're lucky it turned out okay. For nex time (if you're not too scared of a next time) you should go to Radio Shack and pick up a cheap digital multimeter to indicate when you have electrical continuity.

Bailey Stewart said...

Oh that was too good. Thanks for the laugh (even if laughing still hurts). One screw - man I bet that hurt.

Moni said...

You had a screw lose? ah ha ha! I'll bet your wife is never going to let you live that down. ;)

I know what you mean about the electrician. I've had a plumber come over twice to do nothing more than flip a switch and puff..$50.00. Then you want to look around the house for anything else he could possibly fix that would use up the other 45 minutes of your hour.

mr. schprock said...

I one time hired a plumber to put a washer in the faucet. For $60.00.

I probably shouldn't have shared that.

Scott said...

Cheryl - For all the posturing about dangerous shock, it turns out not so bad. My dad had me touch the wires to get a feel for it...

Trina - I took apart a carburetor on an old motorcycle once, just to see if I could do it. It's somebody else's problem now.

Toni - There's only one way to rock Toni. As a writer you can appreciate the role of the Threshold Guardians, who warn the hero of the folly of the upcoming adventure!

Nat - I should have known to ask the magnet babe before attempting anything electric, darn it. The electrician showed me his tool ( not that tool--get your mind out of the gutter ) for detecting current. It looks like a large yellow crayola crayon, and simply beeps if a wire is live. I have to pick one of those up. My technique was slightly more dangerous.

Erin - I tend to do that a lot. Sometimes I leave the opening to see if she'll take it. Call it a set for the spike.

Eve - I hope you feel better today you poor thing.

Moni - The electricians knew the drill. At least we were smart enough to take advantage. As for the wife, she was relieved to know that everything was ok. We found out that the setup was valid for one thing, because there was no electric box behind the one thermostat, we thought it might be a fire hazard. All's well.

Mr. Schprock - You got that right. Now I have lost all respect for you! Not.

Toni Anderson said...

LOL--Threshold Guardians indeed. Must make sure hero gets his hearing aid fixed before our next adventure :D