Monday, April 10, 2006

They Call Me The Fireman

Thanks for the title George.

Good weekend. The wife and I went out on a date for the first time in a three years. We met with friends for Thai food and Singha. Our neighbors watched the kids. They have a nine-year-old daughter who loves little Emmett, and the feeling is mutual. Her name is Ashley, but in Emmett-speak she is just Ashy, and he does whatever she says. She is an up and coming gymnast and does back arches while he crawls under her like a car through a tunnel.

On Sunday I almost blew myself up starting a fire in the burn barrell. I started with a pile of dried out leaves, added a little gas, then newspaper, and a little gas, then a tee-pee of dried sticks, and a little gas. Before lighting it I thought to add just a little more gas. I lit a bit of news paper and held it at arms-length and held it to the top most tier--the WHOOF! It was like the world shifted one space to the left in an instant without me. I stood there like Wile E Coyote, my eyebrows singed and the fuzz along the arm of my sweatshirt brailled into black plastic balls.

Luckily I made the kids stand way back. I said, "Whoa," and looked at Jackson. He said, "That was cool!"

My wife felt it inside the house and ran outside. "What the hell is going on out there!?"

13 comments:

Shesawriter said...

Men and matches. Not a good combination. ROFLOL!

Janie said...

OMG! Slap! Slap!

What in the world were you thinking. It must have been the thought of a first date in three years!

LOL!

Claire said...

Sounds like an awesome weekend! We all need those from time to time...so how did the date end ;)

Tee said...

LOL. I don't mess with that stuff. How does one know how much fluid to use?... Well, now we know how much NOT to use. Hee hee...

I still haven't convinved my husband to go out for Thai food. He likes to stick to what he knows - not very adventurous. What's good in case I ever get him to go?

Toni Anderson said...

What is it with men and petrol?

My DH and his brother when they were little, overheard their father saying there was a rats nest in a hole at the bottom of the garden. They poured gasoline down the hole and then, peering inside, lit the match.

Brushing off the burnt fragments of eyelashes and hair they really did not understand how they were ever caught.

Still--very funny :)

magnetbabe said...

A date- oh la la!

You are cultivating little pyromaniacs. Very cool!

Erin-erin-bo-berin said...

I have to agree with magnetbabe on this one. A Pyromanic lives inside those with an XY chromosome. I'm just saying...

My DH's nickname is 'Sparky'. Just take a guess.

Moni said...

That's great that you took time to spend with each other on a date, I hope you and the wifey had a grand time.

About the fire...dude, it makes me think of that old Eddie Murphy skit when he was doing stand-up. He talked about his family bar-b-que and said every year his uncle would nearly burn the house down.

"Now dat's a fire!!!!!" "Dat's a fire!" ;D

Beth said...

I feel terrible because I could see the Wile E. moment and started laughing my fool head off. I'm glad you're just singed. A 9th grader in my daughter's school just literally melted his face off using gas to start a fire. He's in intensive care. Something so basic is just so dangerous!

Mrs.T said...

OMG, that totally made me laugh. Thank you so much for being a man and sharing your story.. LOL

mr. schprock said...

I know what your problem was: not enough gas.

Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

heh heh!!

Easy there, scotty!

An old mate of mine destroyed a garage doing that sort of thing when we were in high school.

His dad's vintage mini cooper was in there at the time.

oops

Kathleen said...

What is up with men and matches and gasoline????