Thursday, May 18, 2006

I'll Try to Remember That

I emailed my manager yesterday. I have a parent-teacher conference in the early afternoon. If it's ok with you I'd like to work at home.

Normally I don't get a reply from him. In such cases I figure he was too busy to grant my request, so I assume the answer I wish to hear. His response this time was immediate. should be a problem. thx for the heads up.

I wrote back: Did you mean--should not be a problem?

Reply: Er, yeah, I typed too fast.

So here I am with an extra hour of sleep and caffeine worming through my bloodstream. In other words: feelin' good.

Originally, both my wife and I were both going to the conference, but we forgot one pesky detail. What to do with the kids? So, I'm babysitting instead. Damn. I love hearing about my son. The last conference was all positive--he's delightful, plays well with the other kids, pays attention, does well academically with a few developmentally predictable exceptions.

But we still don't have any friends that we can dump two kids on for a couple hours. That's not totally true. We don't have any reliable friends. We have a neighbor Tracy that was all over us like peanut butter to the roof of a dry mouth. She invited us to join her church. We finally took her up on that offer three weeks ago and have gone religiously (sorry, couldn't resist) every Sunday since. Tracy invited my wife to join a women's group soon after, and Beth was so excited. We felt like we were starting to make connections. But the group was really a bible study, much more than either of us is ready for. We got an invitation over the phone from another member of the church, who got our number from Tracy, for another bible study group. I called him back and declined. Politely though, I promise.

Here is approximately what I said:

"We haven't gone to church since we've been married, and are starting down this path slowly. We owe it to our children to introduce them to the teachings of the church so that they can make their own decisions. As for us, a bible study group might me a little much for our level of commitment. But I really appreciate your kind offer."

He was very understanding. But after that, our neighbor cancelled a play-date for the kids, and hasn't called since.

One of my readers, Jada's Gigi, told me to remember that people are fallible, not God.

I'll try to remember that.


Bailey Stewart said...

You just need to find the right church. They're all different.

Mrs.T said...


We really feel like we have the same problem. No one to dump our kids onto. We've had play dates, but not one we would trust.

I'm glad things are going well and that the conference was good!

Karlan is home today too because he threw out his back.. not by choice I assure you, but he's drugged up and I may approach him about writing a blog in his hazy state of mind..

mr. schprock said...

My wife met a born-again Christian once and got us roped into attending a Bible-study/prayer meeting. I had the feeling they were salivating after our souls. Nice people, but they always worked whatever conversation you had with them back to Jesus, with their eyes getting all dreamlike and glistening while they rhapsodized on and on.

Ultra Toast Mosha God said...


Suddenly all the charity disappeared.

I'm sure someone will present themselves soon enough.

Anonymous said...

Sometimes "religious" people are the least religious of all.

Scott said...

Just to be clear here, I'm not knocking on religion. Like Eve says, you need to try a few before you find a match. I'm not even sour on the church I've been attending. I predicted that this would happen between us and our neighbor once we turned down the bible study. I've rarely met people who didn't have ulterior motive when they offer something with no apparent reciprication. But they do happen. In fact, I once was offered something from a friends church that gave me hope. So don't think I'm anti-religion altogether. I'm searching for the answers, and need people who respect that and give me space.

Kathleen said...

What Eve said, although I have to say that some of the Born-Again types do seem to be a tad pushy.

Tee said...

I think you handled it really well, Scott. The way the other guy handled it, if he has done what we suspect him of doing, is really sad. I don't understand Christians who only have Christian friends. It's not healthy and it's not what Jesus taught. Infact, Jesus was often called out for spending time with tax collectors, former prostitutes, Gentiles and all sorts of "undesirables".

I'm sure your family will find some people in the community who are actually worthy of being friends with you :)

Tee said...

Um... I just re-read my comment and I'm in no way suggesting you're a tax collector, Gentile or former prostitute.... :D

jenbeauty said...

It is fun to hear the good things are kids do as we are, most of the time, admonishing them for one thing or another.

As for the boss, I am running into a little difficulty regarding time off I asked for during the hiring process and assured it would not be a problem. bah!

Sadie Lou said...

Tracy invited my wife to join a women's group soon after, and Beth was so excited. We felt like we were starting to make connections. But the group was really a bible study, much more than either of us is ready for.

Sorry, but that made me laugh. I have invited some people to study groups full well knowing that it was going to freak them out a little. I thought Tracy was cool until I read that last paragraph. That stinks.
I'm glad you have the right attitude about it. Maybe you could try setting up another play date? Maybe they feel like they overstepped their bounds with you guys and are afraid to be rejected if they call. I hate giving people the benefit of the doubt but my hubby has been carefully showing me how to do it more often.

Flood said...

Tee, your second comment made water come out of my nose.

Toni Anderson said...

I know I'm not supposed to laugh but I can't help but being amused.

I finally have friends I can call on to have the kids ocassionally (only took 4 years and 18 months). Recipricol arrangement though so we had five kids for tea.

No one has ever invited me to church :) Hmmm. What does that say about me? As for bible study, the idea of going to a meeting to do this freaks me out. Must be a throw back to my granny bolting the door if a Jehovahs Witness came to the door.

You'll find your friends. They're waiting.

Scott said...

Tee - Ha! That was funny. I know you well enough to make your second comment unnecessary, but thanks.

Jen - Sorry about the work sitch. I'm pretty lucky, and had a similar understanding up front with my boss. I'm not sure what I would do if he renegged.

As for the rest, I don't mind at all if you think it is funny. It is funny. Life is funny, even when it's not!