Friday, August 18, 2006

Essence

Work, work, a days vacation, and more work. That's what I've been up to, and will be again today. We took the kids to Canobie Lake in southern New Hampshire yesterday. At first I was disappointed, until we found the wing of the park for children. My youngest son is only two and a half, and being so young, he mostly has to watch his older brother have all the fun. Not at Canobie Lake. Wow. There were more kiddy rides than I can account for right now. Helicopters, space shuttles, dragons, cars, trucks, boats--a dream come true, all safe and slow. Hardly any wait. And in some cases, since nobody was waiting, the operators just let it roll for four or five times the normal duration. There is nothing sweeter than genuine unguarded glee from your children.

I had a strange dream last night. Apparently I was divorced. My son was hanging out with me when a guy from my office stopped in to pick my son up. Jackson was thrilled to see him and jumped up on his shoulders. The guy from my office was his step-father now, and told me that he was heading out, that Jackson went everywhere he did.

My first reaction was jealousy, but the smile on Jackson's face arrested that emotion. He was happy. Despite myself, it made me happy too.

I wanted to end it there, but I feel this will be misunderstood. There is no way that I will ever get a divorce, or let someone be a father to my sons while breath fills my lungs. The point is, in a strange dream, I experienced the true essence of love.

16 comments:

Jaye Wells said...

Welcome back. The park sounds like a blast.

About the dream, when you saw the guy from the office this morning was it weird?

Scott said...

I haven't seen him yet. I think I chose him because I wouldn't mind a person like him as a substitute father. He's not like me in many ways, but at the same time, has a certain air about him. It won't be wierd to see him. The dream was like a fifteen second clip without much impact.

mainiax said...

do you know of any inexpensive places to stay within walking distance of boston common/charles playhouse I am taking my daughter to see blue man group sept 23 and we are going to a knitting thing in the common on the 24, then driving home. If i cant find someplace I'll just get tickets to a different show on sunday and drive both ways the same day.
thanks in advance

Writing Blind said...

I'm glad you're back and that you brought such a beautiful post with you. It was worth the wait.

Rebecca

Flood said...

I was wondering where you got to, welcome back!

I have a lot of weird dreams about the kids. One time I dreamt I gave birth to a 13 pound frozen turkey.

I wasn't far off.

Scott said...

Mainiax - Sorry, my knowledge doesn't extend into Boston. But I will say that you can probably stay outside the city and take the T (the commuter rail) in and out. Mr. Schprock would know a lot more about it than I would. I live quite a ways outside of the city, so like Sgt. Schultz, I know nothing!

Rebecca - Thanks, I try.

Flood - Ooh, that is a wierd dream. I've had a few doozies, but that tops it.

Bernita said...

Sounds like an anxiety ( loss of child) resolved dream.

fringes said...

Welcome back! Next time, perhaps, a note left behind on the fridge?

Very nice post.

magnetbabe said...

I wouldn't have misunderstood at all. Sometimes it is only in our dreams that we let some thoughts come to surface and it just goes to show that you feel unconditional love for your children. Beautiful post.

mr. schprock said...

I don't think I would has misinterpreted it if you left it there. Maybe the ultimate kind of love requires complete self-abnegation.

Tee said...

I hate dreams that leave you feeling strange in the morning. That would do it for me - a dream about divorce and my kids prefering the company of someone else. SIGH... And how strange when our reactions are different in our dreams than what we might do in real life. I wonder if it's a more pure version of ourselves?

The park sounds fabulous. While you were having such a great time we were at Hershey Park standing in long lines in the hot sun. Overpriced and over rated. The kids loved it but I'm never going back there. LOL.

Kathleen said...

Very interesting dream. You didn't need to explain. ;-)

Bailey Stewart said...

Can't really add anything more than what the others have said. Strange dream, wonderful reaction and interpretation - and no explanation needed.

Dixie Belle said...

Read over some of your posts. Sounds like you are coming along with your writing. Don't worry too much about your story not being published yet. Sometimes, it takes forever. Sometimes the magazine folds before the story is published, which is what happened to me with Arabella magazine!! And, of course, I didn't get paid because the contract was for payment on publication.

Moni said...

Sorry to have been away and miss reading your wonderful blog, but life happens.

I think what we dream constitues something that we worry about subconsciously. You're a wonderful father and I don't think you have anything to worry about.

:)

Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

I want to go to that park.

But would my undisguised glee be considered dangerous as an adult?

Who cares. Not me.

That is a strange dream. It's nice to be reminded of priveleges, even if it is in an unpleasant, roundabout way.