Thursday, August 10, 2006

Musical Drug

A good song is the best drug on this planet. It has many similarities to an intense high. Consider the following scenario.

Strap on the headphones and take a stroll through the park and let the music move you. Tap your feet, rock your head, dance and swirl, sing out loud, play air guitar! Share your joy with the world. People will be moved, I assure you. They will part like the Red Sea to let you pass.

Feel the power. Know beyond certainty that you are charming, good looking, handsome even. Serenade the first pretty girl you see:
So if you wanna try,
We'll make it you and I
We'll never be alone
We'll buy a dog and bring him home
And jump up on the bed,
We'll be the best of friends
I think that we should try
I think that we should try

She might want to play cat and mouse and scamper away, but that's part of the game. Your whimsy is contagious. Run after her and imagine this same scene in slow motion in the rock video, both of you laughing and leaping.

Wow she was fast. Where did she go? Oh well, you reason, she'll be back. There was a vibe there that a boy could recognize. Time for some Guns N' Roses. Welcome to the Jungle Baby! Get up on a park bench then jump to the ground on your knees while screaming along with Axel Rose. Play along with Slash and make electric guitar distortion with slobbering lips. Now jump up and sing to the passersby in your all out falsetto:
Welcome to the jungle
It gets worse here everyday
Ya learn ta live like an animal
In the jungle where we play
If you got a hunger for what you see
You'll take it eventually
You can have anything you want
But you better not take it from me
Ah, blue and red lights flashing. How wonderful. Switch over to some gangster rap and imagine the cops are after you.
Damn it feels good to be a gangsta
Feedin' the poor and helpin' out wit they bills
Although I was born in jamaica
Now I'm in the US makin' deals
When you wake up the next morning wearing an orange jump suit, you'll be singing the Folsom County Blues, wondering just how in the hell you got here.

14 comments:

Tee said...

LOL! When I first started reading this I was thinking, "Good Lord! What has gotten into Scott!" ROFL!

fringes said...

Cool segues, Scott. Now I'll be hearing Axl Rose in my head for the rest of the day.

Flood said...

I found a great compilation of 80s video reviews here, yesterday.

I got so high on the cheesiness, my writing took this strange turn down memory lane. My family hates me for putting them through the trashm though.

trinamick said...

You just described my weekend perfectly.

Moni said...

Ha! At first I wondered what you had been smoking. Now I know you were smoking music.

Cute story. :)

magnetbabe said...

I'm much more liable to bust out the air drums than the air guitar.

Sadie Lou said...

cool post.
Welcome to the Jungle reminds me of this list my husband and I compiled of
The Worst Songs to Wake Up to on Your Radio Alarm Clock.
I would love to burst into song in line at the grocery store or something...

Jaye Wells said...

When I'm on the treadmill at the gym I consciously have to force my lips to remain shut.

Otherwise, I'll start mouthing the words of the song blasting through my headphones. Then, before you know it, I'm running (which is not a good look for me) and warbling along with either cheesy 80s music (e.g., Gloria by Laura Branigan) or something completely random for a suburban white chick (e.g., Rage Against the Machine, NIN or Snoop Dogg).
So my clamped-lip exercise routine is really a public service.

Writing Blind said...

You're just hilarious, how do you do it?

Scott said...

Tee - Yeah, it wasn't obvious until a few sentences in what was going on. Glad you liked it.

Erica - Things could be worse, right?

Flood - I'll check out that link Flood. You always find some good ones. Kinda like Tee actually...

Trina - Ha, that I would love to see.

Moni - My hypothesis is, doing drugs is like a good song.

Nat - We'd make a great air band then. Lip synch anyone?

Sadie - Ewwww. You're right. That would really put you on the wrong foot for the day.

Jaye - Funny in too many ways, that comment. I have the same problem at work. I have to shut-a-up-a-my mouth too. By the way, have you ever seen Nicole Kidman run? Or Jodi Foster? Don't they have friends to give them honest feedback?

Rebecca - I was listening to Buy A Dog by Luce, and I was reminded of an old comedy routine I had heard from some long forgotten comedian, who talked about a girl he was dating, but you realize after a few lines that he is actually stalking her. So I kept the music on repeat and went with the feeling of elation the song gave me. Thanks by the way.

Miranda said...

*Grin* I know have scenes from Office Space playing through my head, thanks to the "Gansta" part.

Clever post. But who'd expect anything else from you? :)

Bernita said...

How To Get Carried Away...

Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

This sounds like like most friday nights at the Hatchet.

Especially the GNR.

McGoose and I do this regularly It feels good, I agree.

mr. schprock said...

I think you'll be singing "Back on the Chain Gang."