Out of Sight

Casey used to say that all American cities were New York wannabes, and that the rest of the country was always months, even years behind NYC in fashion. Her friends were intellectuals, mostly lawyers and such; and she liked using big words like sophomoric and septuagenarian. She worked diligently to have an opinion by emulating the TV and radio talking heads, who rehashed the same point over and again, like bulimics feasting on their own regurgitation.

This is the same intellectual giantess that chuckled over a honking horn. She used me in many ways. God her sister hated me. I was a threat. We competed, or did at least, until the awkwardness and impropriety repelled me into acquiescence. Then it was just a matter of time. The silly humor was a mechanism I think to put me in my place, on the outside of the joke, to push me away. They would laugh long then criticize my silence. You're intimidated by our intelligence, Casey once said. Don't worry, she assured, it happens.

Note: The upcoming section, which details a well timed, delivered and deserved jab at the aforementioned ex-girlfriend, will not be understood unless you have read about the horn honking incident in my previous post.

We were probably a few weeks away from the end. Being alone in the car with her was terse. All those unspoken grievances fluttering in the air, so close to release, like a match flame flickering towards the fuse.

"What do you want to do?" I asked the back of her head.

"I don't know," she said into a pulsating patch of breath-fog in the passenger window. In the opaque reflection I could see her wistful expression, the frown, the disinterest. Behind her hovered my own face, looking on, a portrait of the hapless simpleton who should have known better.

"Perhaps I should just take you home."

She whirled to face me. "I want to have fun! You don't know how to have fun."

"Oh, but I do." I honked my horn twice and said with out mirth, "Ha ha ha." A dark shadow covered her face, as if it weren't already out of sight.

Then I really did laugh. And it felt good.