Tuesday, June 13, 2006

A Day At The Zoo

Not much time. I'll visit as I'm able.

Yesterday I was at the zoo with my son's Kindergarten class as a chaperone. Each volunteer got his or her own kid, and one other for good measure. We sat together on a school bus. While I read a book (Old School--again), Jackson and his little friend wrestled, screamed, spat and burped all the way there. Of course I did my part as a responsible adult. When his friend burped the alphabet, I was very complimentary.

Chaperones were to worry only about their chargees. Is that a word? Or am I just integrating Smokey and the Bandit into my lexicon? I saw her before we got on the bus, and I just knew. Knowing this, I took my chargees and sprinted into the zoo before it was too late. It always happens to me, because I am so nice and unpretentious, that the freakiest moms tune into my frequency and stick like flies to a sticky ribbon trap. Then I bumped into her. From them on, I had my very own remora. "Hey, we've seen the lions and the tigers already. But no bears yet! Oh my. Bwa-ha-ha-ha haaaaaa!

Ok, I'd love to chat, but I have to get some work done. For real.


Jada's Gigi said...

Catching up on past posts....congrats on the soccer games, and the FT position...people do "act differently" when you join the fold, don't they?...otherwise its like you're invisible...that has always struck me as strange, but I guess I understand it when I look at it objectively...though I try hard not to be that way myself.
You must be Mr. Nice Guy, which is why all the freaky moms stick to you at school funcitons...:) You're too kind to run them off....lol

Kathleen said...

I believe the word is simply "charges." Were you the only father there? Is that why she attached herself to you? And I've found that there can be thousands of people at the Zoo, but you'll run into the same five people and you can even try to change up the routine, and you'll still find those same people.

magnetbabe said...

Freaky moms seeing (amusing) men being good dads and chaperones spells trouble.

Beth said...

I am so nice and unpretentious, that the freakiest moms tune into my frequency
LMAO! You don't know how well that fits my life, especially now. Made me laugh right out loud.

Flood said...

The freaky moms attach to me as well, and I am a mom.

There is something about a face that doesn't say "STFU" that makes them take advantage.

Be very, very careful! Freaky moms are dangerous! (You didn't tell her your real name did you?)

trinamick said...

I love zoos, but I try not to go with anyone else. I like to travel at my own pace, and who needs the Steve Irwin commentary?

Tee said...

LOL. Daddy chaperones aren't common... You know, women are highly turned on by men who take time to play with their children, etc... I can imagine a pack of women would be following you around on field trips. Hee hee...

Toni Anderson said...

Maybe she thought you were hot ;-)
The world is full of freaky people and you meet them all at the zoo.

I have lots of visits planned for the summer LOL!!!

I always meet the space cadets, who are completely unaware of the danger their kids are in/or are creating. Sheesh.

Ultra Toast Mosha God said...

Everything in Smokey and the Bandit is gospel.

All terminology is relevant.

Burt Reynolds is one of the finest men to ever walk the face of the earth.