Friday, June 16, 2006

Please Write Back

This is exciting. I contacted Washington State University via email, asking if they have information on the whereabouts of some of my old college buddies. I received a reply a week later, indicating that it isn't their policy to give out that information, but I could send a letter that they will forward. I had given a list of names. One of them was Jeff's, another Jennifer's, and another Megan's, who married Jeff out of college. They couldn't find Jeff, which I expected, but they found all the others.

I'm going to write a long letter to each, with pictures of my family. It's too bad that I didn't maintain any sort of contact with anyone. In Jennifer's case, I never even considered it. She dated the most popular and beautiful men at school, and I couldn't bear to think of myself as a "friend." But that's what I was, and what a foolish stance to take. It's a lot easier to think clearly when you're married, after the testosterone cloud parts and seeing is actually possible.

I spoke with Megan years after I left WSU, right after I graduated Potsdam and had my first programming job. As I am so inclined with all the people that knew me back then, I told her that I had turned out ok after all. To that she replied, "I always knew you would. It was either that, or crash and burn. How it played out is no surprise to me."

Thanks Megan. As hopeless as I was, you still believed in me.


Jada's Gigi said...

funny how we want to connect with people from our past as we get a little, friends...all those we didn't have time or sense for as younger adults finding our ways...I'm glad you turned out OK...and what a ride it must have been!....:)
I heard a statistic today on the radio..that people generally become happier as they get older...

Flood said...

The only thing I am absolutely sure about in this life is that we are never as great or as terrible as we think we are.

I really hope someone writes you back. You might be surprised by their perspective on that time.

Kathleen said...

I agree with the report Jada heard about people generally being happier as they get older.

I admire you that you are making such an effort to contact people. I have generally no desire to see people from my past whom I don't already see.

Bailey Stewart said...

I hope they contact you. How wonderful that you're making this effort. I often think about the friends that I made in college. I have one that we swore we would always send Christmas cards - no letters, just cards. That was 16 years ago and, until last Christmas when I didn't get one from her, we did it. I don't know what happened last year, but I'll send mine on this Christmas anyway.

magnetbabe said...

I wonder what brought on your sudden and intense urge to reconnect.
I basically keep in contact with the people I liked best and rarely think of the rest. My best friend from college often has the same urge as you and she's always sending me stuff she's found about people through googling, etc. It's interesting when she sends stuff, but I forget about it alsmost immediately.

Shesawriter said...

I've been trying to find my best friend from high school for years. I've since given up. It's like she dropped off the planet. Good luck to you.

Scott said...

Cheryl - I think you are right about the happier thing. Part of that is probably a lessening of expectation. We want it all when we are kids. Older, well, we learn to accept what we have.

Flood - I already was surprised by Megan's perspective, so I am sure you are right.

Kat - I had some pretty good friends throughout time, most of which I tossed aside for whatever reasons. I typically find that contact with old friends is fleeting, but it feeds me.

Eve - Long term and long distance relationships are hard to maintain. It's amazing that it went this long. She must be a really special person.

Nat - I'm not sure, but I know it is cyclical for me. I think about the good times and wonder why in the hell I let it all slip. I think it has something to do with where I was in life, unhappy, unsettled. I didn't have much to say. But now, I have plenty!

Tanya - I'm sure you tried classmates. You could do what I did if you know what college she went to. I hope you do find her sometime. It's sad that a friendship should die.

Sadie Lou said...

I never understood why people would want to connect with people from their past unless they haven't really formed good friendships to fill the void, later on.
I have lots of awesome friends right now that are more or less on the same track as I am.
We have kids, we are Christians, we share the same political view (to a degree), we raise our kids in a similar manner--I live in a small town so I see some of the people I went to school with and hung out with and you couldn't pay me enough money to spend time with 'em.
I guess I didn't have very good connections.

Toni Anderson said...

Sometimes the urge to reconnect just knocks you on the head and you have to do something about it. I wrote to a guy I knew vaguely in college because he took me to my first soccer game and was a rabid fan--and then Liverpool won the FA Cup and I had to say Hi. Of course to start with he didn't remember me LOL, then he checked out the photo on my website and finally did.

Weird how the pull happens sometimes though.

Hope your friends get in touch--I bet they have their own embarrassing memories of your time together too!

Dixie Belle said...

Hope you get in touch with your old pals. Catching up will be fun.