Thursday, June 15, 2006

No Reply

Every once in a while I get the urge to get in touch with my old college roommates and friends, to let them know I turned out ok. I get so wrapped up in this single-minded purpose that I forget to wonder how they are doing. My living has afforded me a wonderful home and a family well provided for.

When I left school, I hardly had a friend left. My money and luck had run out. I'd dropped out of my second fraternity and had nowhere to live. I was sneaking into the dining hall and using anyone's guest pass that had any left, and was sleeping on the floor underneath the bed in Kevin's dorm room. I couldn't give up. To do so would mean going home to Dad again. That I couldn't have. But finally there was no choice.

I found Kevin on and wrote him a message. He wrote back a couple weeks later and gave me his number. When I called, nobody answered. I tried again. And again. Finally I was forced to accept that he changed his mind, and so I stopped trying.

But I did write one more email.

I want to thank you Kevin for taking me under your wing at college. Mostly though, I just wanted the chance to say I'm sorry. Sorry for taking advantage of my friends, for being a drunk, a bull in a china shop. It's embarrassing to think back on the person that I was. But I was a boy, much younger than my years. I've come a long way, and have made something of myself. You won't see my face on the cover of Forbes--more likely on Better Homes and Gardens perhaps--but I'm happy and living responsibly. Thanks for helping me through that rough transitional patch of life. You will always be fondly remembered as a part of the solution.


Flood said...

You've given people a lot to think about today. Few consider how their 'lesser' selves contributed to who they are today, or feel the urge to go back and clear things up. Most are just happy to be away from the past.

Great post.

Jaye Wells said...

Nice post, Scott. It takes a big person to own up to their mistakes and make real changes, instead of repeating patterns blindly.

Kathleen said...

I'm sorry that Kevin doesn't seem willing to look past old mistakes/issues, but I think the e-mail was succinct and said what you wanted it to say.

Scott said...

Flood - That's a nice way to put it. Thanks.

Jaye - Again, very nice. Thanks.

Kat - I felt a little lighter afterwards.

Joely Sue Burkhart said...

Very, very nice, Scott. I hope you hear back from Kevin eventually.

Anonymous said...

Writing the second email is the noble thing to do. A thank you. It's a nice way to tie up loose ends.

Beth said...

I was a crazy person back in the day and probably not a good friend, but have no desire to speak to anyone from my past. I always wonder why people do this so you've shed some light on it for me, Scott! Maybe Kevin's just not there and honestly not avoiding you. I wouldn't give my phone number to anyone I didn't want to hear from so there must be a reason for it.

Moni said...

It's funny how people are placed in your life at certain times to help you out and then they just disappear into the mist of time.

I'm sure you weren't as bad a friend as you claimed to be to Kevin. Everybody has to find themselves and people do that in so many different ways.

Maybe there's a reason why Kevin is not answering that may not concern you. Anyway, I hope you hear from him, because friends are like precious pearls.

BTW--If my recent blog post sounds familiar...I swear it wasn't intentional. ;)